What The Rome’s Downfall Has In Common With Your Clients: And The Pause That Prevents Their Downfall)
By Karen Salmansohn
Multi-bestselling author and leading behavioral change expert with 2M books sold + over 1.5 million social media followers, Newest book “Your To-Die For Life” is a #1 new release, Clio award winner, Oprah columnist, Psychology Today columnist, appearances on The Today Show / The View / Bill Maher, endorsements from Deepak Chopra, Tony Robbins, Tim Ferriss, Seth Godin, TEDx speaker, and currently top 20 on Substack for Philosophy.
OPENING: The $50 Million Question
A Scene You've All Witnessed:
Your client just sold their company for $50 million
Six weeks later, they're signing term sheets for the next venture
Another client hit their "enough" number. Now they're chasing double
They're running toward the next "Now what?" because forward motion feels like progress
But Here's What's Actually Happening:
They're most vulnerable at the moment they feel most invincible. Just like Rome was!
The Pax Romana Parallel:
For 200 years, Rome had unprecedented success. Their golden age
Economic boom, cultural flourishing, everything working
And that's precisely when the rot started
Historian Edward Gibbon: "Prosperity ripened the principle of decay”
What Happened:
Romans got comfortable, cocky, prioritized pleasure over growth (hedonia vs. eudaimonia)
Stopped paying attention during times of "plenty"
The foundations crumbled during their greatest success
Your Clients Are Rome:
They just had their Pax Romana (the exit, the milestone)
They're in their moment of "plenty"
And they're about to make Rome's fatal mistake
The Research - Why Clients Don't Pause During Plenty
The Morgan Stanley Finding:
Most clients wait until crisis to ask meaningful questions
They don't pause when things are going well
They pause when forced: health scare, divorce, market crash
But by then, the foundations have already crumbled
The Top Regrets Of The Dying (What Happens When You Don't Pause):
People on their deathbeds express regrets that they worked too hard, didn't express feelings, lost touch with friends, lived for others' expectations, postponed happiness, didn’t live with strong character values, didn’t feel like their life had meaning and purpose, didn’t leave behind a legacy they’re proud of
What These Regrets Really Reveal:
"I worked too hard" = I optimized for accumulation instead of meaning
"I lived for others' expectations" = I chased status instead of authenticity
"I didn't express feelings" = I prioritized image over connection
These are people who won the wealth game but lost the fulfillment game
The Pattern:
These are people who had their Pax Romana moments and kept racing, stuck in “Hedonic Loop,” rushing from achievement to achievement without pausing
They never stopped to ask: "What am I truly building and Why? Who am I becoming?”
The Counter-Research (Why Pausing Works):
Harvard: Workers who paused to reflect 15 minutes daily performed 23% better
Face-aging study: People who saw future selves made wiser decisions, saved more, were kinder
Confronting your future self creates wisdom—but only if you pause
The Bridge:
Rome didn't fail because it didn't have resources—it failed because it didn't have reflection
Wealth creators collapse for the same reason
The Advisor's Dilemma:
Your clients are at their Pax Romana moment RIGHT NOW
They're asking: "What's next financially?"
But that's the wrong question—and if you just answer it, you've failed them
The Framework - Hedonia vs. Eudaimonia (Why Rome Really Fell)
Aristotle's Lens on Rome's Collapse:
Rome shifted from eudaimonia (growth, becoming, wisdom) to hedonia (pleasure, comfort, accumulation)
They stopped asking "Who are we becoming and what are we learning that matters most?" and started asking "What more can we take, get, indulge in?”
Hedonia (What Rome Chose):
Pleasure, comfort, finite goals, hit-and-run joy
More conquest, more wealth….but for what?
This is what prosperity ripened… decay through overly-focused on comfort/pleasure… not growth
Eudaimonia (What Rome Forgot):
Fulfillment through growth, becoming your highest potential self
Infinite purpose, transmitted wisdom, meaningful legacy
This built Rome—but they forgot it during plenty
Your Clients' Choice:
Post-exit, they're in their Pax Romana moment
Will they choose hedonia—racing to the next deal with no pause?
Or eudaimonia—pausing to integrate wisdom and grow into their mighty oak self?
The Questions That Create The Pause:
Not: "What's next financially?"
Ask: "Before we talk about what's next, let's pause. What just happened? What did you learn? Who are you becoming?"
The Tool - The Eulogy Exercise as The Strategic Pause
Why This Works:
Rome fell because they didn't examine themselves during Pax Romana
The eulogy exercise forces the pause your clients are avoiding
The Exercise:
Clients write their aspirational eulogy using a Mad Libs template
This isn't planning for death—it's preventing regret during life
Question: "If you died today, what would people say? Are you living in a way that makes that eulogy true?”
What This Reveals:
The gap: Aspirational Eulogy Self vs. Current Self
The "I Was Here Flag": What mark do you want to leave?
The 7 Core Values that prevent Rome's fate (and top regrets):
Authenticity - Rome forgot what made them great—and so do wealth creators
Bravery - Rome got comfortable
Curiosity - Rome assumed success would continue
Discernment - Rome spread too thin
Empathic Love - Rome lost connection
Fun - Remembering eudaimonia, not just hedonia
Gratitude - Rome's greed during plenty
The To-Die List vs. To-Do List:
To-do lists = hedonia (productivity, Rome's expansion)
To-die lists = eudaimonia (meaning, core values, mighty oak growth)
Daily practice: "I am [core value] and so I do [habit]"
Identity-based change = 80% higher follow-through
How Advisors Use This:
Post-exit: "You just had your Pax Romana. Before you race to the next thing, let's write your eulogy."
Wealth milestones: "You hit your number. Now let's figure out who you're becoming."
Family meetings: "What legacy are you building during this moment of plenty?"